Last week we were celebrating Mental Health Awareness Week. Not that many of us know that from Friday 9^th of October to Thursday, October 15^th runs Baby Loss Awareness Week in the UK to show support, raise awareness and recognize on such an important subject that many people have no idea how to act with when they hear about it. Each day focuses on a different topic and on Monday 12th there was an emphasis on bereavement in the workplace after a baby loss.

Did you know that baby or pregnancy loss is NOT a rare experience?

Baby loss affects 1 in 4 women in the UK through the miscarriage, stillbirth, or very early death of a newborn. Miscarriage occurs in around 25 % of the pregnancies, where 1% of women experience recurrent miscarriages. When you look at the number, you can see how common that is, and yet still feels like a taboo topic in general. Losing a baby is associated with the women’s physical pain, where depending on the medical procedure might last up to a couple of weeks.  But according to the research, pregnancy loss is also linked to post-traumatic stress, depression, anxiety, and sleeping disorders, an extended state called “complicated grief”, affecting both mother and father. It is important to note that return to work following the loss of the child or pregnancy is extremely difficult and heavy for parents, especially if it is poorly managed.

The impact of pregnancy loss and returning to work. 

Grief is often associated with crying in the corner, but we have to be aware that, in reality, it is a very individual thing about how grief is expressed. Energy and effort to engage at work during the grieving process is difficult. People who come back to work after such an experience might be different, and their perspective on life may have changed too. Returning to work is extremely difficult for grieving parents, as they have to not only cope with their own feelings but also with other people feeling awkward with them. Support from others is one of the crucial things in this process, and it impacts their experience directly. We don’t talk enough about pregnancy loss in society, and we don’t know what to say or how to react to it.  As a result, bereaving parents may feel isolated and alone.

There is a huge misconception that people should manage bereavement themselves.  No reaction is the worst thing that can happen, so is the lack of acknowledgment. Be mindful. Think about the language on how to handle the conversation as words in the conversation are most important. Silence doesn’t really help. Never assume that they are fine, and they move on. There is no getting over; people who lost the baby will always feel that emotion. Simple kindness can do a lot, and reassurance that they are not alone can make a big difference.

Break the silence- raise awareness!

There are plenty of organizations (list below) helping raise awareness and break the silence around pregnancy and baby loss, providing help for parents but also offering training for employees and managers to understand the journey of bereaving colleagues. Building knowledge can help you to get the confidence to best support your colleagues at work, going through such a difficult experience.

sands.org.uk

heldinourhearts.org.uk

babyloss-awerness.org

Irish Miscarriage Association 

As a society, we are all aware of our differences. Yet there is considerable evidence that unconscious bias affects many of our daily decisions. We tend to think that unconscious bias exists only in relation to issues such as race, sexuality or disability but in fact it impacts recruitment, access to healthcare and education.

Over the summer I watched a TED video of Safat Saleem. He spoke about the fact that he was often mocked for his accent. Intrigued, I searched online for similar stories. In recent years I too have experienced discrimination about my accent and where I come from. Have you ever heard of linguicism – discrimination based on a person’s language or dialect? How common is it to judge people for the way they sound?

What is linguicism?
Linguicism, also known as linguistic discrimination, is the unfair treatment of a person due to their language, accent, vocabulary, tone, rhythm or phrase structure. Linguicism is not new and unfortunately, it is quite common. The term was introduced by Tove Skutnabb-Kangas over 30 years ago. There is a field of study called sociolinguistics that examines the sociological aspect of language.

The accent is often seen as one of the main characteristics when identifying someone as a being foreign. However, bias against a foreign accent is not formally recognized as a form of discrimination. An accent may influence one’s opinion about someone else. Research shows that “it takes us less than 30 seconds to linguistically profile a speaker and make quick decisions on their ethnic origin, socioeconomic class, and their backgrounds.”

The way we speak is a part of our identity. It gives the listener some indication as to where we were born or grew up. This means that in less than a minute we may assume someone’s origins background, and draw upon stereotypes and often make negative assumptions.

How your brain processes accent?
Scientists have been studying this area to try to understand it more. If you are not used to hearing foreign accents it is more challenging to understand them. Each language has its own melody, phonetics, rhythm, the structure of sentences, stress and intonation. Each language uses the organs of articulations differently, so that phonetic sounds in every language are different. Jurgen Habermas explains in his Theory of Communicating Action that in a perfect world to understand each other correctly, we would have to speak the same language. When we are born, we are capable of pronouncing every single sound of the human language. As we grow, we learn the sounds that are specific to our language. As a result, the older we get the more challenging it becomes to learn new sounds as a part of another language. Shiri Lev-Ari, a psychologist at the Max Planck Institute of Psycholinguistics in Nijmegen, put forward the idea of linguistic discrimination in an experiment and asked both native and nonnative English speakers to record the sentence “Ants don’t sleep”. Later, the recordings were rated for their accuracy. Interestingly, the voice with the heaviest accent was rated as being the least accurate. The recording by a native English speaker was ranked as the most accurate. LevAri explains that when listening, our brains parse information and understanding a foreign accent requires extra effort. As a result, we often question the accuracy of non-native speakers.

The linguist Vivian Cook showed in her 2016 study that foreign-language speakers are often not evaluated on skills and achievements but on their linguistic distance from an “ideal” native accent. It is often assumed that non-native speakers are less knowledgeable and capable in their work. We all have been in a situation when we struggle to understand someone’s idea. However, when it happens with a non-native speaker, the assumption is that they don’t understand the language.

We are all biased!
During HubTalk this year, Khalil Smith from Neuroleadership Institute explained that everyone who has a brain has a bias. It stems from an evolutionary standpoint. The first step to tackle bias is to accept it! Once this is done, we must label them in order to reduce them. Smith identifies five seeds of bias: Bias for similarity, where we tend to think that people like us are better than those different from us; Bias for Expediency: fast is the best and slow is bad; Bias for my personal experience: out self-perception and perception of the world are accurate; Bias for distance: closer is better than distant; and Bias for safety: The bad around us is stronger than the good around us. We have to reflect where we see bias showing up within ourselves.

Embrace where you come from!
In 2013, 232 mln people lived outside the country that they come from and used their non-native language daily. We are more than ever exposed to different languages and accents. We should never be ashamed of our roots and accent but rather embrace where we come from.
We are all different and we all sound different. Let us not forget how much effort people put into communicating clearly in a second language (here comes a couple of examples of how positive impact it has on your brain as well).

My journey towards becoming a recruiter wasn’t the straightforward one, and I haven’t followed the traditional career path. I have graduated from Environmental Engineering and Spatial Economy at one of the Universities in Poland. During summer break at my college, I went for an adventure to Ireland and, after spending summer in Dublin, I’ve decided to stay here. I didn’t quit my university. I kept studying in Poland part-time (I was flying over to Poland every second weekend to complete my courses and exams over the time of 3 years) working full time in the Insurance sector here in Dublin. I’ve never enjoyed that industry, and I found the industry and product uninspiring and outdated.

At that time, Ireland was stepping into a deep economic crisis with limited graduate job opportunities for environmental engineers.  Chances to move into that field very relatively small for me, so I started thinking about shifting my career path into a different direction. I felt unconfident and unsafe but seems like I wasn’t the only in this world, making a career shift. A recent study at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York in 2019 found that only 27 per cent of college graduates work in a field related to their major.

One of my lecturers during college spotted that I might be good at recruitment. I wasn’t sure if that will be something that I like but to get some better understanding of it, I signed up for CIPD Diploma in HRM at National College of Ireland. I have quickly realized that it is something that I’m genuinely passionate!

Quitting my stable and well-paid job, especially during the crisis and starting my career from scratch, was not an easy decision. But sometimes taking a step back is as necessary as moving forward.

I’ve kicked off my recruitment journey at Microsoft, first as a recruitment coordinator then as a recruiter. For three years, I had a fantastic opportunity to be a part of Microsoft’s Graduate Recruitment Team- discovering the wonderful world of Tech Industry, hiring grads across EMEA. However, it was time to say goodbye or perhaps hello to a new adventure in Cyprus and be a part of the Global TA Team at Wargaming leading recruitment for Development, Technology, Finance and HR. Ireland has been always home for my family and me, and after 18 months of spending in Cyprus, we have decided to come back home.  Since 2019 I’ve been working as EMEA Recruiter searching for sales professionals across the globe.

Challenges at the recruiter job.

Recruitment can be challenging at times, especially in such a competitive market, that is changing incredibly quickly. For some of the roles, I still get lots of applications; however, not all the candidates have skills and meet the requirements for the position. Finding qualified talent can sometimes be very hard. I help candidates prepare for the interviews through different stages of the process. Before their initial conversation with me, I usually send them a few tips on how to prepare for the discussion. During the call, I guide them if anything is missing in their CVs. After each stage, I provide them with constructive feedback together with the short prep session for the next step.

Recruitment can also be rewarding, especially when a candidate is saying; thank you for offering them a dream job.

Advice to your candidates.

Always come prepared to the interview, do research about the company and have a good understanding of the company’s culture and mission. Think about why you want the job and what do you have to offer. Be enthusiastic; try to bring lots of positive energy.  If you haven’t been interviewing for a long time, remember practice makes perfect! Ask your friend to help you practice answering the questions! I love questions, and ALWAYS I leave extra time in the end for a candidate to ask them! Please have a good set of them ready then.

If I weren’t in recruitment…

I would be a Personal Trainer. I love sport, and when I was in school, I’ve been training gymnastic at the competitive level. For the last couple of years, I’ve been very interested in mix martial arts.  Sport still plays a significant role in my life as it helps to keep my mind and body healthy and make my day to day life more stress-free.